Day: July 27, 2016

KelseyDragon17’s 3rd PO Excerpt

KelseyDragon17's Posts

Hey, it’s KelseyDragon17 here! I’m writing this post to show you guys how I’ve been doing with writing in 3rd Person Omniscient. Young Writer posted previously from one of her stories, so I’ve decided to include a piece of mine. I hope you like it! 🙂

(also my main character, Kelsey, is a dragon [as maybe you could have guessed from my screen name])

Kelsey dove off the cliff, not even thinking about her own safety as she watched her only companion plummeting to his death. She pulled her wings in tight to gain as much speed as she could to reach him in time.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jeff saw a blue streak above him. But he couldn’t process what that streak was. All he knew was he was falling and he was going to die. He couldn’t think of anything other than his rapidly approaching death. Then out of nowhere something solid like a thick branch whacked him in the chest, and despite getting the air knocked out of him, he grasped it for dear life.

She pulled him off her tail and held him against her chest, all the while flailing her wings around, trying to catch the air. She was panicking, as was Jeff.

And in their panic, they both prayed. Kelsey cried out in despair, God, I haven’t trusted you in the past to guide me. But I’m asking you now, please Father, save me to save Jeff. Jeff’s prayer cannot be translated into words, but he thought of God and desperately cried out for both of their lives.

Kelsey opened her wings at long last, and the wind caught underneath the membrane. She opened her eyes and saw the trees blur past her, and she knew her prayer was answered. And to her, flying was amazing. She flapped once to keep her and Jeff from gliding into the trees.

Jeff kept his eyes shut, waiting for the end to come, but it never did. And his stomach was no longer in his throat from falling. He felt something nudge his head and he opened his teary eyes to see Kelsey, her head flipped upside down, staring at him, wondering if he were okay. He quickly wiped his tears, I hope she didn’t see that.

She did, though she didn’t mind. I’ve got you, Jeff.

Writing in 3rd Person Omniscient…

Young Writer's Posts

Hello, young writers! So, the last time I posted an article, it was about a book I had read that had been written in 3rd person omniscient. (If you need a refresher on what exactly I said or what book I talked about *cough cough* it was The Princess check out this link.) Anyway, as I was saying, after talking endlessly about the advantages of writing a story in 3rd PO and encouraging you all to try to at least writing something in that POV, a thought occurred to me: I haven’t written anything in 3rd PO! 3rd Person Limited? All the time. 1st Person? It’s how I started writing. I’ve even occasionally written in 2nd Person, but NEVER 3rd PO. Then I thought, well, if I’m encouraging other writers to try this POV, shouldn’t I do the same? I can’t very well recommend something without having tried it. That’s why I’ve decided to post a little snip-it of a scene I wrote for my FF story. Now, when I originally wrote it, it was in 1st Person from one of my heroine’s POV. I’ve included that original perspective below along with the 3rd PO version so you can compare and contrast the differences between the different POVs (and also so I can say I actually tried 😛 ). When reading in different perspectives/POVs I always like to ask myself: which viewpoint makes me feel more connected to the characters? Which viewpoint gives me a clearer picture of what’s going on with each of the characters and the action within the story? Just food for thought. Hope you enjoy seeing the different perspectives!

Rowena’s POV:

“Well, it’s not really about what you want, is it?” he said quietly, although his voice was full of menace.

“Excuse me?”

“You may be okay with dying, but I’m not.”

“I know, that’s why I…”

“No, you don’t get it.” he said, his voice hard, his dark eyes even harder. A chill ran down my spine. “I’m not okay with you dying, so excuse me if I don’t sympathize with what you’re going through.”

That was a slap to the face.

“Demy, I’m sorry you feel that way, but there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

He snorted then glared at me.

“That’s the problem!” Demetry yelled across the courtyard, frustration and anger fueling his words. He threw up his hands and balls of fire shot out of them haphazardly. He’d scorched a nearby tree and set fire to a small shrub, but he didn’t care. His eyes shooting daggers, he slowly stalked toward me. I had to fight the urge to back up. I had never seen him so furious, and I’d known him before he’d “mellowed” out. “You didn’t give us a chance to do anything about it! You just decided on your own! How could you have been so selfish?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I just stared up at him incredulously.

“How could I have been so selfish? Seriously? I did this to save all of you!”

“And did we ask you to throw your life away in the process? If you had just waited, we could have figured out another way!” he said, nostrils flaring as he loomed over me.

 

3rd Person Omniscient:

“Well, it’s not really about what you want, is it?” he said quietly, although his voice was full of menace. She’d had no idea what she’d done. What she was doing to him.

“Excuse me?” Rowena asked, completely lost as to why Demetry had suddenly become so cold. He just stood there, his gaze so intense she felt as though he was burning a whole through her.

“You may be okay with dying, but I’m not.”

“I know, that’s why I…”

“No, you don’t get it.” he said, his voice hard, his dark eyes even harder. A chill ran down Rowena’s spine. “I’m not okay with you dying, so excuse me if I don’t sympathize with what you’re going through.”

That was a slap to the face.

“Demy, I’m sorry you feel that way, but there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

Demetry snorted then glared at her. He couldn’t believe her. She was acting as if choosing to sacrifice herself without consulting anyone was nothing. It was not nothing.

“That’s the problem!” Demetry yelled across the courtyard, frustration and anger fueling his words. He threw up his hands and balls of fire shot out of them haphazardly. He’d scorched a nearby tree and set fire to a small shrub, but he didn’t care. His eyes shooting daggers, he slowly stalked toward Rowena. She had to fight the urge to back up. She had never seen him so furious, and she’d known him before he’d “mellowed” out. “You didn’t give us a chance to do anything about it! You just decided on your own! How could you have been so selfish?”

Ro couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She just stared up at him incredulously.

“How could I have been so selfish? Seriously? I did this to save all of you!”

“And did we ask you to throw your life away in the process? If you had just waited, we could have figured out another way!” he said, nostrils flaring as he loomed over her. How blind could he be? If Rowena had known how ungrateful he was going to be about her dying to save him and the rest of her family and friends, she might have reconsidered her choice.

A little reflection…

Writing in 3rd PO IS SO HARD!!! It’s a little overwhelming having to recount every character’s thoughts, feelings, motives, emotions, and actions. To make it easier on myself, I started thinking about writing in 3rd PO as if I’m combining the 3rd Person Limited viewpoints I usually write for each character into one scene. Basically, the scene I would have written following the one above would have talked about how Demetry is feeling about Rowena’s impending death. Instead of having to write that scene in addition to the one above (even though it’s originally in 1st Person), I now only have one scene that encompasses both characters’ viewpoints. Am I a 3rd PO convert? Hard to say, but hey, at least I tried. 😛 How about you?

About Young Writer’s Draft

Follow me on my journey as I figure out this crazy thing we call writing. Prepare yourself for a lot of crying, laughing, screaming, praying, and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

Story Quote of the Week:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." - Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

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