Chapter 3:
When we got to the cemetery, we were sure that Gwen’s wand would lead us to the old lady; we were wrong. We searched the entire area, including the spooky forest surrounding it. Nadia even went as far to look under the gravestones…and when I mean she looked under I mean she looked under, as in underground. Apparently, she could pass through solid objects.
Disheartened that the wizardess was nowhere to be found, I sat down with my back leaning against a tombstone. Nadia floated down next to me once she’d finished her search and as she gazed at the tombstone behind me, she started giggling.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, concerned that perhaps the whole getting-turned-into-freaky-creatures was finally getting to her.
“Well, I was remembering the first Halloween we ever shared together,” She smiled sentimentally.
“Oh, yea,” Gwen said as she crossed over to us, “That was one of my favorites.”
“Do you remember when we all came down to the cemetery to play a neighborhood-wide game of ‘ghost in the graveyard’?” Nadia asked us.
“Yea, I do! That was so much fun! Running around, ducking behind tombstones, trying not to get caught by the big kids. I remember we kept getting caught because I would laugh so hard every time Gwen screamed ‘Ghost in the gravy!’ instead of ‘Ghost in the graveyard’.” I said, doing my best Gwen impersonation.
“Hey! How was I supposed to know how to say it! I was only 6!” Gwen protested as Nadia and I laughed.
“That was one of the best moments I remember having ever since I moved here.” I remarked, surprise by how I could have forgotten the fun we’d had. Huh. Even if it was childish, I still had fun with my friends that night.
Shortly after our brief walk down memory lane, Gwen got another hunch and discovered that the old lady was actually down by the library. Slightly depressed that we didn’t find her where we originally thought she would be, we continued flying through the moonlit sky to find her.
Chapter 4:
We went to the library; she wasn’t there. Then we went to the grocery store, the bakery, the pizza place, and even to the post office. Gwen swore she was in each place we visited but as soon as we got there, my keen sense of smell told me that she had just disappeared; only a faint orange ‘scent trail’ was left behind for us to follow. We kept missing her and after each location, Gwen found a new one. We were on a wild goose chase. It was getting close to midnight and the old lady was nowhere to be found. Soon it became harder and harder to track her scent. Would we ever find her? I wondered. We were getting desperate; I mean who knew how long we had before we stayed as a wizard, werewolf, and ghost…permanently?
As Nadia and I sat (well, I sat, she floated) outside of the post office on the curb, Gwen was still busy spinning around in dizzying circles with her wand, trying to find the wizard lady. We had been sitting/floating quietly when Nadia suddenly began to cry, although it sounded more like a spooky wail.
“We are neverrrrrr going to find herrrrrrr!” she sobbed.
“Aw, that’s not true, Nadie. We can’t give up. She’s got to be around here somewhere,” I comforted, trying to put my arm around her in an effort to console her; it went straight through.
“But whaaaaat if we cannnnn’t? I doooonnn’t want to stayyyyy like this foreverrrrr! I wwwwwwwant to be a huuuuuuman again!”
“I know, I do too. And you won’t stay like this forever, I promise. We’ll get through this, just like we got through that Halloween when it was below freezing, and you couldn’t stop sneezing.” I laughed. “Do you remember that?”
A small smile stretched across her ghostly face.
“Yeaaaa…And I couldn’t heeeelp it, it was freeeeezing!”
We both started giggling.
“We’re in this together,” I reminded her, “And that’s how we’ll finish this.” And there’s no place I’d rather be, than with my friends.
“Thanks, Casssssssssie. I just wish we knew whyyyyyy she turned us into ccccccccreatures in the first pppppppplace,” Nadia replied.
I bit my lip; I had a feeling it was because of me. I know I said I wanted to act more serious, like a grown up, but now, I would give anything just to be a kid again and trick or treat with my friends…
Just as finished my thought, Gwen got another location.
“Guys, I’m serious. I know where she is this time,” Gwen stated confidently.
“Are you sure? Because last time you said that, we wound up here; a post office of all places!” I lamented.
“I’m sure. Now stop arguing and let’s hit the road.”
“I think you mean air.”
“Fine, air.” Gwen huffed exasperatedly. “Let’s just go!”
Taking her cue from Gwen, Nadia grabbed us once again by our collars and flew us to the place where Gwen had seen the wizard lady last: a cul-de-sac near our neighborhood. Great, I complained silently. We are going right back to where we started.
Finally, we arrived at the neighborhood. We gazed around, anxiously searching for the old lady’s mansion.
“I doooon’t see it annnnyyywhereeee,” Nadia moaned.
“Wait…I…I think I smell something,” I said, sniffing the air with my snout. “It’s over there.”
Gwen and Nadia turned in the direction I pointed and sure enough, toward the end of cul-de-sac sat the dark, creepy house we had seen at the beginning of our trick or treating adventure. Man, I thought quietly to myself, It’s hard being serious all the time and trying to keep it together. I’d have taken trick or treating over this crazy night anytime.
I pushed that thought aside as we ran up to the front of the mansion. Gwen knocked furiously on the door, muttering angrily under her breath. The front door creaked open and the old lady/wizardess beamed at us.
“Well, it sure took you long enough to find me, dearies.”
We all stared wide-eyed at her, our mouths open in shock.
“What does that mean? Look what you did to us!” Gwen yelled. “Now change us back. RIGHT NOW!”
“Oh of course, my little ones. Why do you think I was hopping around town? I was gathering the ingredients to turn you back. That, and running a few personal errands,” she winked.
“You weeeerrreeee?” Nadia asked innocently.
“Yes, I needed to gather my ingredients to make these.”
She held out another tin tray, but instead of holding cookies, the tray held three silver goblets that were glowing green and had white smoke curling out of them. Gwen, Nadia, and I started to reach out to grab them, when the wizard lady moved backward, taking the goblets out of our reach.
“But first,” she crooned, “I must know if you learned your lesson.” She turned toward me. “Did you learn your lesson, Cassandra Morgan?”
“Umm…how do you know my…? Never mind.” I huffed.
This wizardess was really getting on my nerves. What lesson? I wondered. Being turned into a werewolf and hunting down a mysterious old lady hadn’t really taught me anything, besides learning that rolling in random patches of filth along the way is quite enjoyable. Huh. Who knew? I tried to think hard. Wait…maybe I had learned something.
Well, Cass?” Gwen prodded.
I took a deep breath before responding. “I learned that sometimes, being childish can be good a thing.” I glanced at best friends as I smiled. “In fact, you’re never too old to enjoy spending time with your friends, no matter what adventure you end up going on together.”
I hoped that was what she meant by a lesson. Luckily, the wizardess’s face twisted into a smile (or as much of a smile as she could muster).
“Very good, Cassie. You are never too old to experience the magic of Halloween. Now drink up. It’s almost midnight. We wouldn’t want you to stay like this forever.”
“Definitely not.” Gwen nodded.
We quickly grabbed a silver goblet (although the old lady had to help Nadia with hers, since her hand kept passing through it every time she tried to grab it) and gulped down the green ooze. Suddenly, we dropped to the floor in a dizzy heap.
“Remember, you’re never too old for Halloween.” The old lady whispered as dark shapes raced across my vision.
The old mansion faded from view as the world went dark…
Chapter 5:
I woke up to the light of the Halloween moon just as Nadia and Gwen were coming to. NADIA AND GWEN! I exclaimed joyfully to myself as I got a good look at them. THEY’RE THEMSELVES AGAIN! Wait, I thought, am I myself again? I glanced down and to my great relief, my paws, snout, fur, and whiskers had all disappeared. The potion worked! I was so elated, I forgot to tell Nadia and Gwen that the transformation had worked. They had their eyes shut tight, scared that they hadn’t changed back.
“Guys! Open your eyes! The potion worked! We’re all humans again!” I screamed happily.
Once they’d actually opened their eyes, Gwen and Nadia began screaming too. It was a whole five minutes before we were calm enough to think.
“Well, now that we’re normal again, we should probably head home,” Gwen pointed out.
“Aw! Not yet. Come on, let’s hit a few more houses and get some more candy before we head home. After all, it’s Halloween!” I exclaimed.
“Wait?” Gwen asked, completely stunned. “Cassie, I thought you said trick or treating was childish? And besides, it’s too late anyway.”
“No, it’s not. We’ve got 10 more minutes, at least. Come on! And, it’s not childish…it’s fun. And I want to have fun with my best friends.”
“That’s the spirit, Cass!” Nadia beamed. “Let’s hit the last few houses before we head home.”
With that, we headed back toward our neighborhood, hoping to find a light on.
I guess nothing’s too childish, I reflected as Gwen, Nadia, and I walked side by side, as long as you love doing it and have your best friends to share it with.
“Hey, I wonder if anyone has any meat flavored gummies. I think all that time being a werewolf has turned me into a real meat-lover.” I joked as my two best friends and I celebrated the last few minutes of the most special Halloween we had ever had.
The End
So, I hoped you enjoyed this story! To be honest, when I was reviewing it, there were so, so, SO many things I would have changed/wanted to change/ended up changing. 😛 In fact, I realized that this story is probably still in the drafting stage. I would love to develop it further and possibly do some illustrations to go along with it, maybe even turn it into a children’s book!
And as for the things I would have changed…here’s a list of some of the major areas:
- Sentence Variety: specifically when it came to dialogue tags; replacing words like “said” and “asked” with different/more interesting verbs.
- Word Choice: choosing the right word to fit the moment/mood.
- Dialogue: letting dialogue stand on its own sometimes, without using tags.
- Character Development/Timing: I would have liked to have expanded the story, maybe have the characters go to all the places mentioned during their journey so that by the time Cassie realized how much she liked hanging with her friends and trick or treating, it would make sense and not seemed as rushed. Also, it would have given the characters more depth.
- Details: I could have added more details about the old lady and/or the specific abilities each of the characters gained by becoming Halloween creatures, and maybe those abilities could have contributed to more character development.
- Using More Indirect vs. Direct Characterization: allowing the readers to draw conclusions/picture the characters on their own.
- Proofread: oh, the necessity of proofreading. If I had a nickel for every misspelled word I saw… 😛
Those are just some of the MAJOR areas and though I can’t say that I’m completely happy with this story, I at least have a good draft to work with, and now that I know the areas that need improvement, I have a clear direction for the future as to how I can make this story even better. If you take away one thing from reading this story, let it be this: DRAFTS ARE IMPORTANT. They show you were you need to improve in your story and allow you to gain feedback (either from yourself or others) that can help your overall writing. So, share your work with others or with us here; don’t be afraid because your work isn’t perfect. Stay calm and remember: it’s only a draft. 😉 As always, keep on writing, friends.
Love,
YW
Recent Comments: